Confronting grief: How an Austin mother's group is working to support families through loss

AUSTIN (KXAN) — When Elaine Nguyen experienced the unimaginable loss of her child, she found herself enveloped in darkness. Yet, from that darkness, a light emerged in 2024 — ATX Loss Mama, a heartfelt support network for mothers grappling with similar heartaches, was born to turn sorrow into connection and hope.

The community emerged from Nguyen’s profound grief after losing her son, Lando, at 35 weeks pregnant.

“The gap between leaving the hospital and then going home… the need for community and support was just so lacking,” she reflected, recalling the isolation she felt during her darkest moments.

This glaring absence of support fueled Nguyen’s mission: to create a space where mothers could find solace and understanding.

ATX Loss Mama emerged out of necessity — a response to the fragmented resources available for bereaved families in Austin, Nguyen said. With ATX Loss Mama, Nguyen sought to provide accessible support through monthly mom walks, support circles, special events and an online community.

“I felt like I had to work really hard to find any type of resource or support,” she admitted. Her experience resonated deeply with many who came to the group, looking for a sense of belonging after their losses. As she explained, “There’s a village for me becoming a mom. There’s a village for my living daughter, but where’s the village when it comes to me losing my son?”

The community exists to bridge the gaps Nguyen identified — barriers that prevent grieving mothers from receiving the compassion and resources they need.

“Resources were limited, fragmented, or came at a premium cost,” she pointed out, emphasizing how these obstacles deepen the isolation felt by families. Resources include a national grief support line, therapy sessions and some online support groups. But these resources don’t always provide a “real” connection, Nguyen explained.

The feeling of support with ATX Loss Mama

Among the mothers who found solace in this community was Yesenia Macias, who said before finding ATX Loss Mama, she was “isolated in a sorrow that I couldn’t talk about,” after losing her son Eli after just eight weeks of pregnancy.

“I admitted to the group that I feel lost because I don’t ‘look’ like a mom. I don’t have any living children, so as far as the world is concerned, I’m not a mom. But in this community, women told me they felt the motherhood in me,” she shared, highlighting the unique bond that formed among these grieving mothers.

Every month, ATX Loss Mama hosts support circles, where women gather to share their stories. These meetings serve as a vital outlet for emotional expression, according to Nguyen.

The journey of grief is never linear. Macias shared her struggles post-loss: “I lost my baby. Then, I lost my marriage. I’ve been healing for over two years, but it’s slow.”

Yet amidst the pain, she finds solace in the community that ATX Loss Mama has created.

“On Eli’s would-be birthday, my boyfriend and I have a cake. We talk about him, keeping his memory alive,” she recounted, illustrating the importance of remembrance in the healing process.

“Someone called us the ‘Sorority no one asks for,’ and it’s true,” Macias said. “Grief is one of the hardest emotions, and, usually, you’re surrounded by people who understand. Imagine grieving without that. For some, myself included, without a funeral. How does one find closure when everyone is just checking their watches, waiting for you to ‘get over it?’ I‘ve never felt more seen, validated and appreciated as a mother than at this retreat, with those wonderful fellow Angel Mamas surrounding me.”

The circles create a space where mothers can speak openly about their experiences, filling the void left by society’s general discomfort with discussing loss.

Understanding pregnancy loss and its impact

Therapist Angela Pidala, a licensed clinical social worker with expertise in prenatal mental health, underscored the uniqueness of pregnancy loss.

“A pregnancy loss or a newborn loss … there’s a very short time period of memories created with that baby or that infant,” she explained.

Pidala often reminds mothers that both grief and healing takes time.

“Grief has to be an intentional and conscious process to be able to move through it. It’s completely normal and necessary for the healing process,” she said.

According to Pidala, the statistics surrounding pregnancy loss are staggering: up to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, with 80% occurring within the first seven weeks. More than 50% of stillbirths have no known cause, leaving many families grappling with unanswered questions.

“That question of like, ‘Why me? Why this baby?’ can be overwhelming,” Pidala noted.

This network of support also combats the feelings of disenfranchised grief — those silent losses that society often overlooks. “It’s important to talk about it and share our stories,” Pidala advised. “We want parents who have experienced loss to know they don’t feel so alone in this.”

For Nguyen, the mission of ATX Loss Mama extends beyond just support; it’s about visibility and collective healing.

“When you are a grieving mom … you need people who understand,” she reiterated. “It’s really important to have this space so that other moms just feel like they have a place where they don’t have to explain themselves.”

How ATX Loss Mama mothers find hope together

As the women gathered at Walnut Creek Park for their monthly walks, they felt the warmth of shared experiences.

“One day, you’ll wake up and feel the breeze again. One day, you’ll look out the window and see beauty again. One day you’ll feel whole again. One day is today,” Macias affirmed, her voice a blend of hope and raw emotion.

These walks symbolize not just physical movement but a collective journey toward healing. In a world that often dismisses their grief, the mothers of ATX Loss Mama find strength in one another.

“In community, there can be some collective healing and collective acknowledgment,” Nguyen said.

Nguyen’s vision came to life through community initiatives designed to address the gaps she experienced.

“Basically, it’s a community where we do monthly walks, hold support circles, and collaborate with partners to host free events for moms to enjoy a day retreat,” she explained.

She emphasized the importance of this support, saying, “You don’t understand the depth of the pain and heartbreak it is and the bravery it takes to get up each day and keep going without your child. So it’s really important to have this space where other moms feel they have a place to be themselves without having to explain why they’re feeling a certain way or how they choose to honor their angel babies.”

Continuing her reflection on their events, Nguyen noted, “We do events like that … it’s my way of hopefully making this invisible journey of parenthood and motherhood a little bit more visible. Some beauty can still come from it.”

As these mothers navigate their grief together, they create a tapestry of shared experiences, honoring their children while forging new connections. Each story shared adds to the collective strength of ATX Loss Mama, transforming sorrow into resilience.

In the safe space of this community, they are reminded: “You’re seen. You’re heard. You’re held. You’re invited.” And through this journey, Nguyen makes sure they are not alone. They carry their children in their hearts, allowing love and grief to coexist as they find their way toward healing and hope.

The impact of Lando’s legacy is woven into the fabric of this community. Nguyen reflected on how her son’s brief life continues to resonate with others.

“Lando actually means ‘famous in all the land.’ I didn’t know this was how you were going to be famous. But … Lando, you’re making an impact,” Nguyen said.