‘Her truth is important’: Daughter of N.S. murder victim wants police to release details about domestic violence cases

Brenda Tatlock-Burke was a mother of four. She loved to entertain. She played darts and pickleball and enjoyed karaoke. She was planning a road trip around the Cabot Trail this month and looked forward to celebrating her 60th birthday in December.

But on Oct. 18, her husband of 33 years killed her and then took his own life inside their home in Enfield, N.S.

“I was shocked. I really wasn’t believing it,” says her daughter, Tara Graham, who lives in Cochrane, Alta.

“I would never have imagined that it would happen.”

The RCMP has said very little about what happened that day. Police have confirmed that a 61-year-old man and 59-year-old woman were found dead inside a home on Rockliffe Drive. They also confirmed that the woman died “as a result of homicide” and the man’s death was due to “self-inflicted” injuries.

As for their relationship, police would only say that “the two people were known to one another” — words Graham says minimizes what actually happened to her mother.

“To say that they were just known to each other, when they were married and for many years they were together,” says Graham.

“This should be labelled as domestic violence. I want other people … who are in similar situations to see that it’s domestic violence and that it can happen to anybody.”

She’s also upset police didn’t release their names. Graham has identified her stepfather as Mike Burke — a man she says was a retired RCMP officer.

“Her truth is important and hiding that I just think does so much more damage to everybody including us,” says Graham.

“It really hurts us and is insulting that she’s just like an unnamed person.”

In the news release, police stated “in consideration of the Privacy Act and out of respect for the families, the RCMP/HRP Integrated Criminal Investigation Division will not be releasing any further details.”

However, there is nothing in the Privacy Act that would prevent police from releasing the names in this particular case, and Graham says her family wasn’t consulted about the release of information.

“And then for the RCMP to make a comment that they were keeping the rest of the information private just because of the family, when we were never asked what we wanted or not wanted disclosed,” says Graham.

“It was very insulting to her … I feel like she was just silenced again.”

Brenda Tatlock-Burke and her daughter, Tara Graham, are pictured. (Courtesy: Tara Graham)

Graham feels police should consult with the families of victims of domestic violence and be more forthcoming with information, if that’s what the families want.

In this case, she says police should have called it a murder-suicide, disclosed that the people were married, and called it what it was — domestic violence.

“Even just to say self-inflicted … words have so much power and they’re taking that away,” says Graham.

“So, for the people that are left here to read their stories, nobody gets to see that and be like, this happened to somebody else. You don’t know who’s reading that and who that could help.”

Graham does wonder if the fact that Mike Burke was a retired RCMP officer is keeping police from releasing more information and if they’re concerned about how it reflects upon them.

“I don’t even want to think that they’re trying to protect him, but they’re trying to protect their people,” she suggests.

“As though he’s not a reflection of them … if he’s not a reflection of the RCMP then admit who he is and admit what he did was wrong and that doesn’t mean that that’s what the RCMP are.”

CTV News reached out to RCMP, who said they are “bound by the Privacy Act on the information we share.”

“We’re unable to confirm or disclose any personal information, including (an) individual’s past employment status, unless it’s to advance an investigation,” wrote RCMP Cpl. Guillaume Tremblay, public information officer for the Halifax Regional Detachment, in an email to CTV News.

Police say investigators with the RCMP/HRP Integrated Criminal Investigation Division have completed their investigation and can confirm “the investigation shows this to be an incident of intimate partner violence.”

Police also confirmed the incident on Oct. 18 “involved a firearm.”

“We encourage family members to address any concerns regarding communication about an investigation to the RCMP family liaison assigned to the investigation,” reads the email.

Brenda was about to leave her husband

As for her mother, Graham says she was planning to leave Burke, and she believes that’s why he killed her.

Graham says the couple had been on-and-off a few times over the past few years. She says Burke was mentally and emotionally abusive to her mother, but she had never known him to be physically abusive, so her mother’s death still came as a shock.

“I’m never going to know the actual scenario because they’re both gone,” she says. “I just truly think for her it was a normal morning. I don’t think she saw it coming.”

Graham, who moved to Alberta to live with her father when she was 11, says Brenda had just spent two months out west, visiting her and her sister, Ashley Whitten, who lives in Fort McMurray.

During her trip, she told her daughters that she was leaving Burke — and this time it would be for good.

“She said this time she was done. She said ‘I’m going to be 60 this year. I’m not living my life like this anymore. I’m going to be happy and I don’t care if I have to start over.’”

Graham and Whitten both expressed concerns for their mother and asked her if she felt safe going back. Graham says she asked Brenda if she would be OK and questioned whether Burke might hurt her.

“Literally we just meant hurt her because we knew he could be very loud and very intimidating,” says Graham.

“It never even crossed my mind that he could kill her.”

She says Brenda brushed off their concerns and insisted she would be fine.

Brenda returned home from Alberta the morning of Oct. 17. She was killed the next day.

“I think she really did say, ‘No, I’m done, I’m leaving,’” says Graham. “And I think he just snapped.”

Graham says she’s sharing her mother’s story because she wants victims of domestic violence to know they’re not alone and know there is no shame in seeking help.

“Ask for help … if you just ask for help things can snowball from there,” says Graham.

“If she would have said she was worried she would have never gotten back on that plane to go back home, but she never told us that.”

Graham also wants people to know domestic violence can happen to anyone.

“There’s such a stigma that it happens to low-income people or people that are struggling in life,” she notes.

“These are people who were not struggling. They were very well-off, they were people of society, people of authority, and it can happen to anybody.”

Finally, she wants people to know who her mother was, and not leave her an unnamed homicide victim in a news release.

“She was full of life. The amount of times she gave to the people in her life is mind-blowing,” says Graham of her mother.

“She was just full of life and wanted to love life and she just wanted life to be a party.”

An image of Brenda Tatlock-Burke. (Courtesy: Tara Graham)

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