Mothers Revealed What It’s Like Having Kids “Later In Life,” Giving Both Sides To The Story

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“I had my first and only kid at 39 after being with my husband for over 20 years. There are very significant pluses and minuses to having waited so long, but overall, it was the right decision for us. The positives: We had a lot of time for just us between the beginning of college (when we met) and 21 years later when our daughter was born. Our partnership has a really strong foundation, and we are completely independent of our daughter. We are more mature parents — we take better care of ourselves, don’t put off chores, have a financial plan, and are a lot more patient than we were in our twenties.”

“That said, there are downsides. My pregnancy was awful — it wasn’t ‘I had a lot of morning sickness awful. I lived in the hospital for my entire third trimester and had an extremely high-risk pregnancy. 

Also, raising a toddler in your early forties is no joke. We often struggle to keep our energy going, and we’ve pretty much given up on doing anything other than work and childcare 90% of the time. We often drag ourselves through the day.

Overall, the positives and the negatives are both pretty significant. You have to decide what’s important to you. In the end, I’m glad we waited, but if my pregnancy had gone worse or if we really wanted several kids (or if the career-related benefits of waiting hadn’t paid off), I would feel differently.”

—u/Bitter_Pilot5086